PRESENTER: "We do have a very topical question. Mr. Oktar, what do you think about the valentines' day?" asks Miss. Duygu from Izmir.

ADNAN OKTAR: Well. What do we think about the valentines' day. When is it? Is it Valentines' Day tomorrow or is it today? 

ADNAN OKTAR: Tomorrow. The valentines' day. We do celebrate the valentines' day until the eternity.

ADNAN OKTAR: We do have only One Beloved. 

ADNAN OKTAR: We love Allah until the eternity. Also His Manifestations, I mean we do love His divine manifestations until the eternity. They have one mothers' day, and they remember their mothers on that single day. See what Darwinism has brought upon people in the End of Times. They can only spare a specific period of a specific day. Every day is the mothers' day. Every day is the fathers' day. And every day is the valentines' day, how can this happen? I mean what kind of a logic is this? My dear brother, if it is about giving gifts, saying nice words is also a gift. A beautiful gaze is a gift. Showing respect is a gift. You talk about Allah and it becomes alms for your believer brother. You talk about a beauty, you give information about a scientific fact and that also is alms. You go to the kitchen and prepare a plate of fruits and present it to the person you love, that also becomes a gift.You pick some flowers from the garden, that is a gift. You find a colorful bug, you put it in a cup and show it to the one you love as a manifestation of Allah, that is a gift. I mean to attach that feeling only to a single day is something that destroys the concept of the beloved. And also we should look at what we mean with the word valentine, the beloved one. For instance the beloved one is a person's mother or father, they are also the beloved ones. Right? A person's child is also a beloved one. Rasulullah is the beloved one. Allah is the Beloved One. But if one takes the child of another and violates her and says "here you are, this is my beloved one" .. and "here you are I have bought a present for you". If that is what he says then he should be made to eat that gift, right? Piece by piece. That is not acceptable. The reason why is, a woman is beautiful only with her virtues. That is because she becomes beautiful only when you value her. You feel respect for her. You value her, you become her confidant. You have to admire her as a manifestation of Allah. You should see her very clean, you should feel sympathy for her, protect her with compassion. You should feel a deep fondness for her and protect her as if she were your sister, your daughter, your mother. Right? You will enjoy the feeling of compassion. You will make her even bigger in your eyes, you will increase her value even more. You will be careful about her health and wellness. You will pay attention to her happiness and her joy. You will prevent harm on even a single strand of her hair. You will make her your lawful one. Above all this is a must, because you can only become intimate if she becomes your lawful wife. She should be your lawful one. Then Allah appraises such a relation. That becomes a divine service. But any otherwise, it is to take someone else's daughter and to use her, use her like a litter bag, like a piece of napkin. Use her and throw her away. And then name her your valentine. That is not acceptable. What you do there is only humiliating her. I mean you do not value her. You do not consider her as a person.

OKTAR BABUNA: Yes, and in that case none of these you just said could reveal itself. You have stated that before.

ADNAN OKTAR: Of course. Where is compassion here? Where is the feeling of sympathy, where is the feeling of protection? That girl dresses up, gets prepared and comes. My dear one, do you have any money? You are coming from such a dangerous road, would anyone hurt you? Are you healthy and well? Because it is possible everyone could have any illness, right? I mean if you love someone, you have her take a check-up. You wouldn't feel relieved any other way. You first determine if there is anything wrong with her. If you see her anemic, for instance if her blood level is low, you provide her the necessary pills, you take care about her food, for instance if she feels cold you provide her a warm environment. You check if she is comfortable in her house. You think about her comfort. Would she be facing any rumors? You should avoid gossip, you will avoid any harm on her virtue. Insha'Allah. That is how love should be. Saying dully "I love you" is not acceptable. You only use her there, not love her but use her. There is no love there, no passion, no compassion. You do not see all these beauties as the manifestations of Allah. What does he see there, only a pile of flesh. That man needs a piece of flesh to dump that dirty waste at. He asks what should he name that and decides to call it a valentine so that it would be a decent name. In fact he only sees her as a pile of flesh. Right? He sees her only as a pile of flesh, as if she was a waste bag. And name it a valentine. A valentine? That is not how you see a valentine. She should either be his lawful wife or only if she was her daughter only then she can be his beloved one. The beloved one in whom the love for Allah manifests itself. For instance we see babies, they are our beloved ones. They are the manifestations of Allah, the Face of Allah. Who? Allah is our Beloved One. Allah manifests Himself as a baby, as a human being. Consequently Allah is our sole Beloved One, our only Love.For instance All-Mighty Allah addresses to our Prophet (saas) as "My Love". Our Prophet (saas) is also a manifestation of Allah. The Prophet Joseph (pbuh) is a manifestation of Allah. He is also Allah's love. So does the Prophet Abraham (pbuh). But All-Mighty Allah individually addresses our Prophet (saas) so. With the words, "My Love". Our Prophet (saas) was the beauty of the world. He was such a glorious person. He had coal black eyes, pinkish-white complexion, black-long hair. Our hero had a rich beard, masha'Allah. He had the arms of a wrestler and shoulders of a lion, insha'Allah. Our Prophet (saas) was a man of middle height. He had a beautiful way of addressing but a man could hardly handle his grandeur. Very few people could handle it. Some felt faint, some some had their tongues tied just looking at his face, because of his prophethood grandeur. Light was shed from his face, hands. His sight was breathtaking. When our Prophet (saas) asked their names or where they come from, there were those who could not answer. They become speechless due to the Divine Light, that spiritual electric surrounding him over, people were almost hypnotized. They could recover only when our Prophet (saas) caressed their faces. Masha'Allah. That is, about this valentine's day, they need to be sincere. That is, a person feels love for another only as a manifestation of Allah and love is accompanied with protection. Protection both in the spiritual and material sense. If this is absent, they need to remain silent.

OKTAR BABUNA: You have mentioned it before; when people marry with such a mindset, they call it "honeymoon", but it does not last even for a month.

ADNAN OKTAR: Sure. For instance, the girl needs Money. Actually, for a lot of family, the sole purpose is to find husbands for their daughters. Day and night, this becomes their main goal. Apart from cooking, the mother looks for a husband for her daughter, also her father. All the family does that. It becomes the major issue of the entire family. This is the main subject. You ask "what are you doing?" They say, "We look for a husband for our girl." Afterwards there is a saying "Have you sold the girl?" What a statement! A very offensive expression! They say, "Mr. X has a son, masha'Allah." They ask, "What are his attributes?" They say, "He had his education in Germany." Just upon these words, they immediately release adrenalin. Their hands and foot start to tingle. They ask "what more" others add, "He owns a house." Notice that his morality, devoutness, profundity of his faith, personality, his struggle on Allah's path, the difficulties he faced in Allah's way, not a word about these. Because, first this major issue has to be handled. She asks, "What else does the man have?" The other answers, "He has a really high salary." Then their heads utterly melt. You know just as in the case of hearts suddenly appearing in cartoons. They claim to have a crush and at that point the issue becomes over. Then remains just the details! They ask if the boy fulfills his prayers. The others answer, "Of course he does. What kind of a statement is that? We all do, we are all Muslims, Alhamdulillah. He never misses his Friday prayers". He slightly gives a clue there; he says, "He never misses his Friday prayers." All right, she says, "Then the issue is over now." "Let's ask also to his father", she says. They ask him, "What do you think?" He answers, "We can neither say "Yes" nor "No." He utters such average words with the terminology of the neighborhood, in an effort to look cute. The issue is already over, he has already melted. When he hears of that wealth, he loses his mind anyway. He becomes decomposed. Like being hit in the head. He irrevocably loses himself, insha'Allah. Then they bring in a man with a donkey-head. A type with a powdered neck. They say, "Here is the candidate." They quickly put some plants in his hand, some flowers. He says, "Mum, dad, let me kiss your hands." Right at this point the issue is over. There remain no details behind. Then they give away the girl to that loaded bearish man. They know nothing about him. They betroth them and grant a short period of time. Then they say, "Come and take her away." And he does that.What kind of a conscience is that? The guy may turn out to be a psychopath, a maniac. Can you ever know how he will behave? You dare to give away a little child to a bearish man. Then it turns that he breaks her mouth and nose, oppresses and beats her. She returns to her father's house where she is once again beaten by her father. He takes her back to her husband. The father says " it is not acceptable like this, he is your husband, he of course the right to beat as well as to blaspheme."The father has already settled in the house. He had already accepted the house. He had already taken the house from the son-in-law. It is even furnished. So what is the point? If the girl is in, that means the house is out. Not to lose the house the girl needs to return to the husband. So they, in a like manner, send her back by a "certified mail". So the girl gets another round beating. At a very young age those children lose all their youth. For instance, while they are 25 or 27 years old, they inconceivably aged, in a very short time. They turn into something different. That is because the man sees her like a waste sack. He makes her wash his dishes, do his laundry. He considers her like a hatcher; thinking that she would also give birth. He considers her a multi-functional creature. The woman, in return, sees him as a milker camel; someone from whom she can reap lots of benefits. An incomprehensive hatred arises. Then they start the conversation of lovers. They say, "Let's dine out today." Notice that he attempts to please her by using the instinct of food. Not by faith, the fear of Allah, love of Allah. When he says, "food", the hatred the woman feels slightly disperses. She becomes obsessed with the excitement of the dinner. She gets prepared and they dine out together. The woman eats the food, all right, but the man is a cattle. That is, in her eyes, the man appears to be a cattle. A cattle with horns. In other words, dining out does not save her. She still feels that rage. For instance, she wants to stand up and go, she gets nervous, she is furious. He approaches the woman like a hyena and attempts to kiss her. The woman feels even more disgust, she becomes extremely upset but she does not make him sense it because she will lose the money. Then her body numbs against that atrocity and humiliation. It gets numb and gets accustomed to it. She turns into a crass who cleans the guy's mess, admits his disgusting ways, listens to his improper humor and foolish conversations. To the point that her brain becomes numb. There are very intelligent women, smart women. But the man is fool. For instance, she gets accustomed to his humor and she also starts to laugh at the guy's nonsense humor, idiotic ways. That is, she adapts herself to him. She notices that she can not cope with his ways and she keeps company with his irrational statements, awkward way of speaking. Even if, for instance, the guy is a gambler, she accompanies her and gets used to gambling. I know a lot of families, the young girl, she also gets used to gambling. For instance if the man drinks, she also starts drinking with him at the table. Similarly, if he does not fulfill his prayers, she also does not pray with him. That is, he ruins her. And for instance they marry off a girl when she is 20 years old and in a blink of the eye, a decade goes by. A decade passes like a single year, everyone knows that. Then passes another decade. She becomes 40. The woman experiences menopause and she ages tragically and everything comes to an end. Now the man seizes a better ammunition to humiliate the woman because the woman no longer has the might to marry after that, in his mind. She also has a child. The man gets a tremendously advantageous position. That is, an enormous advantage for all sorts of humiliation and oppression because the woman no longer has the possibility to leave him. There is a child and she has grown old. That is, she has nothing to do; time has taken away her advantages. These are advantages according to her mindset. Or else, we do not accept them to be advantages. But these are advantages according to her rationale. Then a system based on hatred emerges. For instance some of them have found a new solution. They live apart. The woman lives in a house and the man lives in another. This is the recent fashion. They officially do not dissolve the marriage because otherwise they have to expend more money, so just to save some money. Do you know how many people are there in this situation? Hundreds of thousands, hundreds of millions. Because they do not have love of Allah they fall into a downward spiral. They struggle with this spiral. For instance the man goes to work in the morning, in chase of bills. He says, for instance, he has ten bills to collect during the day. There are goods that could not be cleared from the customs. One comes out and says, we are in hospital waiting for our turn to see the doctor, it is due to occur on the fourth day. Another says, our trial will be heard in a few days; the lawyer asks for the money, we are trying to find the money for the lawyer. I mean a misery, an utter disorder, a fight goes on. And they assume this to be the purpose of life. They simply do not question whether this is why they have come into existence. This is simply a misery. This is the other name of misery. Right?This holds true for his marriage, for his business life, for the way he eats and drinks. Most of them lose their health, they can not eat or drink anything. For instance having diabetes and he can not eat anything. Or he has cholesterol and cannot eat anything.