ADNAN OKTAR'S LIVE INTERVIEW ON KACKAR TV (January 29, 2009)

ADNAN OKTAR:A woman looks for certain criteria when she is going to marry. First of all money; money above all. Then education, a spouse with a good position, a car, a summer house, and a great many other such attributes. When someone is looking for these she can not use the passion given her by Allah. In that case, that home is of no use to her. That home will just be four walls to her, somewhere totally empty. In other words, it will have no effect. The car will just be a collection of metal to be used to carry her from one place to another. These materials acquire meaning through love of and passion for Allah. That is why our Prophet (saas) says that someone who marries for possessions loses those possessions, while people who marry for beauty lose beauty. Because that beautiful person may catch the flu one day and seem repellent to the other party. One can find even the most unexpected things repellent. One may be disgusted when one sees a person in a state of helplessness and cannot avoid that feeling for the rest of his life. 

… Money produces a depression in such people because they have to take so many precautions to keep the money.  People worry about their checks bouncing, or what will happen if they put their money in the bank and it goes bust. So they hide it under the mattress, but that is no good, either. At last they put it in a jar but then worry about what if someone finds it. So they suffer a lot and feel restless. People can only find peace, trust and ease through love of Allah. In other words, with many people the more money they have, the worse their restlessness and suffering.  We see many cases of this in the world outside. I do not want to cite individual cases, but we see a great many such people all around.  

ADNAN OKTAR'S LIVE INTERVIEW ONKANAL 35 (February 1, 2009)

ADNAN OKTAR:... they have no trust in one another even as they get married. They first go and make a pre-nuptial agreement at their lawyer’s, saying how much money will be payable if they get divorced, right from the very start.

ADNAN OKTAR:It is a total catastrophe. If you have so little trust and you are almost sure that you will be deceived and oppressed... then how can you live together with such a person?  What kind of agreement is that? How will you be able to look that man in the face having made such an agreement? But women quite rightly look to have trust in the person they marry. And fear of Allah is essential for there to be trust. And fear of Allah, and profound faith and taqwa. How can one trust anyone who does not fear Allah? Think of a person who has the kind of mind unable to acknowledge Allah. He is unable to understand that he lives in a lentil-size place inside his brain. Matter does exist on the outside, but he lives inside that tiny space, and his mind is too weak even to realize the presence of Allah. What can one expect from such a person? People surely very much like the one who speaks the truth. That has a huge effect on a woman, speaking the truth. It also has a huge impact on man. A woman who always speaks the truth is very exciting. In other words, she is a great blessing. That person never lies, so that means you have united your brain with hers. You have become a single brain. She never lies, and it is terribly exciting to get in touch with one’s soul, with a woman.  But that connection to brain is broken when lies enter the picture.  You have now entered a false world, which means that that person does not exist. But trust is something very exciting, in other words, to trust someone to death, to hope to be with him or her through all eternity, insha’Allah. To believe that someone is honest and will never be disloyal or hypocritical is very exciting for a human being. This is one of the greatest blessings in the world for a believer. But this has been taken away from people, trust and honesty have been taken away. So nothing remains. One has no trust and is sure the other person does not speak the truth. On the other hand, he or she knows that the other party attaches importance to one’s material wealth. One knows the other person loves one for one’s money, or position, or physical attractiveness, not for oneself. Rather than love, this is a kind of ambition. So one becomes sure that he or she has no respect for one, for one’s soul. So how can a person be happy? That is why people look so miserable. In order to be happy, a person needs wholehearted people that he trusts and loves, and who do not lie, and fear Allah. And, if you notice, people are generally alone, they have no real friends.

ADNAN OKTAR'S LIVE INTERVIEW ON BASKENT TV (March 6, 2009)

ADNAN OKTAR:Look, I recently watched a few of those “find-a-spouse” programs. Believe me, my fever got high. I watched it as long as I could, but it was unbearable. They really humiliate people. Come and sit here, the host says. Right, what possessions have you got? Give us a list. The man says he owns a field, and they say that is not enough. So the host turns to the woman and asks her opinion about the man. Is marriage all about possessions? It is about love, affection, compassion, friendship and brotherhood. One cares about the fear of Allah of his partner. What does material goods to do with you? In any case people become like sister and brother [in marriage], and Allah eases their path anyway. So what if the person owns his own home? Even if he does, he can lose it at any moment. A fire may break out. Can it ever be a guarantee? So that means that if that happens they will split up.  

ADNAN OKTAR'S LIVE INTERVIEW ON KANAL 35 (IZMIR) (January 18, 2009)

ADNAN OKTAR:For example, when girls are going to get married they prefer someone who is very rich, even if immoral, rather than someone who is devout, rational and morally virtuous. They prefer the person who has money. But we then see that these people have split up, as he has inflicted pain on her and made her restless.

ADNAN OKTAR'S LIVE INTERVIEW ON KACKAR TV (January 29, 2009)

ADNAN OKTAR:Spouses ascribing partners in one another. I see such cases from time to time. The woman converts to Christianity or Judaism for her husband. Alternatively, the man asks her to stop performing the salat. And she does. He says he will only marry her if she stops fasting. And the woman agrees. This is a form of polytheism, not something a normal Muslim would do. No rational person would do these things.

ADNAN OKTAR'S LIVE INTERVIEW ONKANAL 35 (IZMIR) (February 21, 2009)

ADNAN OKTAR:What they call the “honeymoon”, that honeymoon becomes the incident with which the countdown begins. Ten, nine, eight... They get really excited in the run-up, but then a hatred forms on the first night. The very first night. 

But they are still unwilling to wind the company up, as that would be blameworthy, since it is also an economic alliance; since both the mother and father’s sides are wealthy. They ask one another beforehand, and I see this sometimes, do you have your own home, and a car? As if they are setting up a business partnership. What kind of love and conception is that? They get right down to business as soon as they learn the other person’s name. What has that got to do with marriage? It is a company, a business, an alliance of self-interest. That is really dreadful. What kind of love is that?

I see it sometimes. People who should be happy and smiling just fake it. They pretend to be happy and smiling, but in return for money. In other words, they act. How degrading that is, and how distressing. Since it is impossible for someone who is aware that he is not really loved to be taken in by an imitation, it means they are in for a lifetime of suffering.

What need is there for such a pretense, such a parody, such a disgrace? A person is loved for the sake of Allah. One is loved as a manifestation of Allah, and there is a profound and glorious delight in that. It is an unending force. Allah has bestowed that depth on almost all women. In other words, if a woman is given this, passion, love, depth and loyalty, then she becomes an unbelievable entity. I mean, that woman departs, to be replaced by a literally superhuman entity. In other words, all that beauty, depth and passion in her soul begins to burst out. 

ADNAN OKTAR'S LIVE INTERVIEW ON TEMPO TV (February 3, 2009)

ADNAN OKTAR: I have seen many cases of women falling head over heels in love when they first see the particular make of car a person has. If the car is a very expensive one that love takes them over completely. And if that man’s clothes are also very expensive, if he attended a good school, and if his father is well off, then love blinds her entirely and turns into a fierce passion. I hear about such people, who are then ready to do anything. Then, one day, the man says his father has gone broke, which is quite normal during an economic crisis, and that he is also therefore broke. A light then goes out in the woman’s head, and that love vanishes that very moment. All that remains is someone she hates, and her love turns into disgust and anger. That is a punishment inflicted on her by Allah. It is a terrible humiliation. Whereas if she loved the person for the sake of Allah, she would regard the loss of his factory or workplace as a blessing from Allah, and it would make no influence on her whatsoever. But people are educated wrongly right from early childhood. I see mothers whose daughters’ hands have been sought by doctors and engineers, but who have refused permission and even boast about how many suitors they have turned down, and this is embarrassing even to talk about. If people of taqwa and morality had asked for their daughters’ hand you would normally happily give your permission to such people. But these people boast about all the doctors and engineers, people who earn good money, they have turned down. And those hearing this also appreciate it. But all this is so humiliating and degrading. And it is a very improper expression. It means they regard their daughter as a slave, and that is totally inappropriate. Since that is how young girls are brought up, most people tend to look for a wealthy spouse.  It makes no difference to them if he lacks in desirable qualities of personality or he is a psychopath.These people swear at, beat or humiliate their wives, and their families say you are his wife and it is perfectly normal for him to beat you. The man beats her, throws her out on the street, and her family happily takes her back to him and even apologizes on her behalf. That is a terrible disgrace. And it goes on very often. Such women are terribly oppressed, but because of the indoctrination from their families and the people around them they put up with those men who so disgust them, because these people are their husbands. Their families tell them to put up with it, and that it is all quite normal. Their mothers point to themselves as examples. They tell them their fathers were like that, and that they put up with them. That is the distorted way some girls are raised. But these things are wrong. True love of Allah, love for the sake of Allah, has the effect of a fire on a woman’s soul. It bestows a profound delight. This is truly amazing both for woman and man. It is a profound feeling. But those who forego it for the sake of material things find themselves drowning in a sea of suffering and corruption. They have to spend all their time with someone who disgusts them, and they suffer that pain for their whole lives. Because they hate the other person’s moral values and character, and they lie all the time. They often offend the woman. The lack of love of the woman is evident from her face and gestures. But it is love of material things and possessions that lies behind all this. The woman becomes proud and obstinate and unaware of her value as a woman. The man is conceited and does not know the value of the woman. So many women are wasted in this way; they spend all their lives in this manner and finally they grow old. I have seen many such lovely women, and then seen them again years later, all soured and in a terrible state, barely human any more, having wasted their youth. That light in their souls has gone. They have wasted that depth in their souls, which is a tragedy. That is why the best measure is to abide by the measure set out by Allah, to seek genuine love, that fine manifestation of Allah, to be very honest and sincere, and to fear and love Allah. People need to know that the profound delight this gives rise to, that stunning joy, is a blessing that Allah bestows on believers. There is a profound miracle unique to Muslims, to those who truly fear Allah. Very few people are aware of it, and it is because they are unaware of it that they live in all this trouble. If they knew it, they would not give it up for all the world. If they knew how truly delightful it is to love with genuine faith then money and cars would be utterly unimportant to them. But they are unaware of it.