ADNAN OKTAR: It would be very deceptive to tell an irreligious man to love or to tell someone who does not love Allah to love Him. There is always an entertaining aspect to it, which is why he takes an interest. Either the money interests him, or he will be looked after. For example, we look at the people that women say they are passionately in love with. For instance, they choose someone. What are their criteria? For them to be young and rich, that they should have a profession that is able to bring money home, for their family to be wealthy. The list of criteria grows of course. He must have his own home, a car, a summer house, a spare home, no physical impairments.. These things are very influential for them. But their main idea, their fundamental instinct, is fear for the future. That is their most powerful instinct, or one of their most powerful instincts. It also exists in animals. For instance, a squirrel digs up acorns it has buried. It hides them out of a fear of going hungry in the future, so it can dig them up later. A dog goes and buries a bone, and then digs it up and eats it later. Now, an ignorant or uneducated person instinctively looks for someone who will look after them in the future. They talk about being “in love,” and these are magic words to bind the other person to them. They know that person needs that kind of indoctrination. They say they have never seen anyone more handsome, that this is the first time they have run across anyone. But the fact is he is just an ordinary servant of Allah. Such a thing is impossible, but the poor thing believes her. He is delighted to be discovered for the first time, for his marvelous qualities to be witnessed for the first time. He feels a huge excitement. He asks how she picked him out, and it truly delights him. But it is a trap aimed at the future. Because, with her instinct, the woman wants to have herself taken care of, because she may fall ill, or grow old, or need money or food, and she always needs clothes to wear. She regards him as a lifeline, one that will constantly provide her with money. She believes she has to win him over, pat him on the back. The more she says “How good you are, and what a nice person” the more assets will flow her way. She has her own specific, magical words. She can take command of him with a few actions. And thus has herself taken care of for life. She knows that when they have a child he will be even more devoted to her. So she wants to have a child at once, to avoid any danger of divorce. Because she knows divorce will be easier with only one child, she then has a second. That makes the bonds stronger. But the more children they have, the less attractive the woman becomes, and he goes off her. But he has nowhere left to go. Because he has spent everything he has on her, they just have to put up with one another. That is why the papers have these columns about how to secure a happy marriage. Ideas like “Take her out to dinner.” Or, “buy her a ring from time to time.” But none of them ever talk about Allah’s approval, or fear of Allah, nor fervor for struggle, nor of the beauty of the brotherhood of the Hereafter. Isn’t that right? And they never talk about Allah bestowing that power. That is the case with a great many people. And these false precautions therefore just make the situation even worse. When he cannot manage a genuine, spiritual love, he convinces her to go out to dinner. But that is not going to win her round. That is a very primitive move. It is how they treat dogs, though I apologize to those who do it out of naiveté or ignorance. You give the animal food, get it used to you, and the dog is then devoted to its owner. Since its owner constantly supplies food, the dog develops a love for him. But the love in the dog develops in response to that food. What we have here is, similar to training a dog for food, a person becoming more devoted the more food they are given. Because a man or a woman knows this subconsciously, a fundamental but sincere hatred thus arises, as well as an insincere conscious love. They tell their friends and families how madly they love one another and have a crazy time together, embrace each other every two minutes in public and wander round arm in arm. You see people like that. They roll round in the sand, but this is all for show. They do whatever they see in films, running through the sand hand in hand. But when the woman sees someone else better fitted to her own interests, she will drop him at once. That man running across the sand may develop cancer one day, or an ulcer or some other illness, and she will soon stop caring. But when he dies his assets will remain behind, of course, so she will be very affectionate. The result is a very affectionate, but abnormal excitement. An excitement filled with joy but also with pain. I really cannot describe such people. I have seen these types. An insane joy. Since the person may die at any moment, these women develop a great strength and become even more excited. For some reason. Since he may die at any moment. They then rejoice even more, saying, “He left me a great deal in his will.” You must have seen people who are unable to conceal their happiness when their spouse has cancer, for instance, or some other disease, when death has drawn nigh. They cry, but it is like weeping for joy. One can tell from their words and language. Now people who understand the system, then turn their backs on life. They come to hate everybody. A great many people end up like that. The result is a pessimism and despair. And when a person has no joy of faith, the body cannot bear it and collapses, too. There is no life in their eyes. Their expressions and even their skin freeze over. Their minds freeze over. Their memories are impaired. All the cells in their bodies become sick. The body becomes prone to cancers and tumors. The body can no longer protect itself and becomes mad. The cells also go mad. Because all cells are created for love of Allah, for passion for Allah. Without love of Allah the cells just kill themselves. That is why there is no light in their faces. There is something odd about them, they have no electricity. Nothing about them is exciting. But Allah bestows a special electricity and a special power if he is a believer. But believers are created to be affected by other believers. An evil doer is unaffected by a believer. A disbeliever is unaffected by a believer. That is why Allah carefully separates them. He speaks of male believers being with female believers, and female believers being with male believers. He speaks of “Munafiqun and munafiqat” male and female believers hypocrites. They are also created for each other. And He speaks of disbelievers in the same way, “mushriqun and mushriqat”, Male and female idolaters. They are all made for one another, insha’Allah.