ADNAN OKTAR:Respect is very pleasurable; it is a great blessing. Respect gives people excitement. That is also valid for people in marriage as well. For instance when one feels respect for his/her spouse, he/she would be very much affected by her/him, when he/she feels a profound respect that is. With an ordinary respect he/she would be ordinarily affected, when he/she doesn't feel respect, he/she would not be affected at all. He/she would regard her/him as a pile of bone and flesh. Moreover, may Allah forbid, he/she would be revolted by her/him. That is the reason why they regard each other repulsive and feel disgusted. That is the reason behind many of the divorces. The lack of their respect for each other..

Feeling respect.. And the second one is to value the other greatly. One needs to use his mind, to use his intelligence to be able to value another. I mean one has to enforce the evidences why he/she should value the other person and to take his/her eyes off the things that are ugly. I mean some people get into the depths of something actually ugly. An ugly thing should neither be looked at nor thought of. A person should instantly take his/her eyes off the thing that is ugly. For instance let us assume that a woman has worn something that is unbecoming. One should not look at it insistently, eyes should be taken off it instantly. That is if one is a person of love, a person of affection. If his has a quick mind, if he is a person who is in search of love, one should not look insistently at or think on something unbecoming. Attention should be concentrated only on beautiful aspects. One should be in search of beauty. One is evaluated with his/her beautiful aspects.    

But the man examines his spouse as if he is examining a living creature under a microscope.  That is a very bad thing, a very unreasonable and a very silly thing to do. Then you would be finding a thousand and one different flaws. How else could it be? That is a human being. Human beings are bound to have flaws, that is a testing environment. But this one is after catching those flaws one by one.  A wise man would not see any of those, he would only see the beautiful aspects, he would only see the benevolent aspects.        

One needs to choose the beautiful words. One needs to choose the most beautiful words. Because people are created as weak.