ADNAN OKTAR: The most important thing to take into consideration in a marriage is to have profound fear of Allah and a deep love for Allah. For instance if a lady loves Allah very much, if she has an intense fear of Allah, Allah gives an irresistable attraction and beauty to her. I mean He gives her an amazing beauty. He bestows her both physical beauty and also the beauty of spirit, the beauty of morality and an amazing potency of attraction emanates on her, I mean an extraordinary power would be formed on her. It evokes the desire of living while tasting that beauty in a man. And you get married to be with her in the Heaven as well and to live that passion and profundity. Or else marriage is not done to have the your laundry done, to have your dishes washed and your ironing done and once in a week.. ; marriage should not be done for such mentality. I mean that would be very annoying, very revolting. The goal of marriage is to experience passion, to live the love of Allah. You are choosing your companion in the Heaven, you are choosing your companion for the Hereafter. Allah says; "with your wives",  He says that Muslims are with their wives in the Hereafter. Insha'Allah. Passion is left undiscovered in the large portion of women. It is left undiscovered even if she gets married, she cannot find the strength to surface it. That is because necessary conditions are not formed for her. For instance when a baby is  born, she is born with her normal body functions but spiritual functions start to surface later on. I mean the power of human brain starts to surface later on. For instance on a person who lives by the Qur'an and Islam very well, some metaphysical characteristics start to emerge. For instance just like miracles happening for the Prophets; for instance while a Prophet was an ordinary person before, when Prophethood is given to him, extraordinary events start to take place. For instance in his face, Allah creates an extraordinary effect. In his speech Allah creates an extraordinary effect. A special effect mechanism is created in his eyes and a special effect in his voice. He possesses a power that gives contentment to souls. I mean by the leave of Allah, he would possess an inexplicable power. That is the same for women as well. Normally she is a being made up of flesh and bones. If she does not have a spiritual profundity, if she does not fully abide by the Qur'an and have a profound love and profound fear of Allah settled in her heart, normally she would not be able to have the functions of a woman anyway. I mean taking her hand in marriage and being wedded to her would not change anything. It only gives her the effect of a living person, only as a living person, that is it. For her true functions to surface, I mean for her startling power to be surfaced, her power of feeling profound passion should come into the open. Power of profound passion is the real fascinating feeling. For instance Allah had drawn attention to that also in the Hereafter. Allah says; "There will be dark-eyed maidens with them, with eyes reserved for them alone." He says that they will be "devoted and passionate". Look that is the only point Allah stressed on; ".. with eyes reserved for them alone," Allah draws attention to their eyes but Allah says "devoted and passionate." A person tasting the feeling of passion.. There actually is a power that we call passion. I mean that is a zest, an intense pleasure in the soul that intense love for Allah generates. When that unites with sensuality in marriage, it turns into a very profound effect, it turns into a very powerful effect. When that does not happen, people would be bored by that woman within a short time. He looks and sees that she has two arms and two legs and almost no difference. Only her genital organs are different, one is convex and the other is concave, that is it. I mean that is not something that would change anything. She is a piteous being who eats and drinks and he is a piteous being who eats and drinks.. While the man is expecting great things, he looks and sees that there is nothing, nothing is happening and nothing would happen. Allah would not give them that power. I mean for that power to take effect, there should definitely be a profound love for Allah, a profound admiration for Allah, so that Allah would manifest in her and create an intense delight in his soul. They struggle, strive to love each other. He says; "I have bought you a present, I have bought you flowers, I have brought you grapes," he acts like a clown just to have himself loved and that makes the woman even more annoyed. He jumps out of the kitchen all of a sudden, does such awkward things, weird jokes, does least expected moves, drops little gifts lined up on her way just to have himself loved. I mean a woman would be bored by that, it would annoy her and would have no other effect. That is because these are not the things that satisfy the soul. He says; "Look, what I have bought for you," for instance, he buys a ring and waits in front of her with his shinning eyes. She sees the ring and throws herself to his arms instantly and together they turn around each other. How humiliating is this. Isn't his aim there so obvious? The man presents something material, you are not under the effect of his morality, his personality, his spiritual depth but by excitement of receiving an expensive commodity and of the interest it presents you. So you would be feeling excitement towards the man who presented interest to you.  What does the situation there have to do with love? Right? Love comes with spiritual profundity and spiritual passion. I mean, that is a power Allah specially creates. Allah presents this to God-fearing people. That is the reason why our Prophet (saas) has married that much; I mean it is because of this high potency of passion. His wives were profoundly impressed by our Prophet (saas) because they have seen this power of passion in him. They were getting together with our Prophet (saas) to live the love of Allah. But according to those pig-headed ones since they assume that it is based solely on sexuality, some foolish bigots are embarrassed by that and do not even know how to cover it.  They keep saying "the wives of our Prophet (saas) were old, they were crippled, they were ill."  I mean they speak in a manner as if to say "our Prophet (saas) had collected all the old and ill women into his house." Our mothers were all very handsome, they were all very young. There were some who were older but in general they were young. They were 18-19 years old, 20 years old. Our Prophet (saas) was 60 years old. For instance Hz.Aise (r.a) was very young. But she saw that potency of passion which profoundly shakes a person's soul, she had seen that potency in her own soul as well and as the result of that irresistible desire she married our Prophet (saas).  And she was in love with our Prophet (saas). That is a love which stems from the Manifestations of Allah. She felt a profound pleasure in being with our Prophet (saas). It doesn't matter if she had been with him only for a month, it doesn't matter if she had been with him only for an hour. Our Prophet (saas) was always out in wars, busy in preaching the religion, he could rarely meet them, but despite of this his wives loved him with a profound love and deep passion.  For that reason in marriages, saying that everyone is getting married, let us get married as well, let us take one lady's hand and take her away, etc. following such a mindset would cause incidents which end up with vehement fights at the end of 5-6 months. It does not work that way.  For that reason, look at the approach here.. This one supports AK Party, that one CHP [different political parties in Turkey].. Talking  about "my family," "your family" It is not acceptable to push that young lady into a conflict with her own family. One should be wise. There might be some ignorant people in everyone's family, he should not push his wife into a conflict with such people. He should be making plans on that, he should think about her and take a step into marriage only after he establishes a system that would protect her from being oppressed. Saying "let us get into this and then we will see what comes out of it," how is this acceptable? His uncle causes problems for her, her grandfather bothers her, everyone pulling her to sides, her sisters in law bothers her, they make her life unbearable. And when the other one sees her as a machine who does his ironing, who washes the dishes and who satisfies him from time to time; the woman would not feel neither love nor passion, nor admiration, she would not feel any of those. Consequently a secret hatred would be formed. And after that he could be as shapely as he could be, she would see him as cattle. There are those angus cattle, they are very big as well, they weigh tons but still a cattle.. I mean his being shapely, his being handsome would change nothing, it would only constitute a profound hatred, a devastating hatred. For that reason one should not approach marriage saying "everyone is doing this, so will I" but with the profound spirit of the Qur'an, with the deep spirit of Islam. Then people would come see that Allah had created a hidden spirit of heaven in them. I mean they can then realize that they own an unknown, wonderful power. Apart from that, marriage would only be a means for torment, she calls him "the man", he calls her "the woman". That is only a mechanism of hatred, fighting every day, having battle of words every single day, this one making innuendos on her, that one making innuendos on him, he insults her, she insults him and thus hatred grows in folds. Whereas in marriages done for the approval of Allah, there is a profound compassion, deep mercy, deep passion and a profound love. Sensuality is also in the highest levels, also passion and love are experienced in the highest level by the leave of Allah, as much as Allah wills them to feel.